devon young

its been a long time and im tired but back

2007-10-23T22:09:26Z

through the eyes of myself I see my life becoming nothing

an empty nest of forgetful bird

sparrow picking at my loose ends

leaving behind no eggs for the snakes

the empty home that no one wants

seen screaming but not heard

senile but never forgetting

eventually remembered because it is not seen again

Staying in CA

2006-07-01T00:06:56Z

After a long period of silence I have made a decision

I am going to stay in California. There is one main reason for this and its a doozy

I devon young......... am getting a job at....

.......SQAURE-ENIX AS A GAME TESTER

Bitches do you understand what that means!?!?!?

they are going to pay me to sit on my ass and play video games that others won't touch for months!!!!!!! Final Fantasy XII bitches?!?!?!?!

moral oral

2006-06-12T07:42:46Z

Does anyone watch moral oral? that show is seriously fucked up. I mean I laugh at sum fucked up shit but that shit is too fucked up and I laughed at piles of dead babies.

ohhhh

2006-06-08T08:36:54Z

well it has been a while. and things are really really ...um crazy..... a lot has happened and I have changed alot. I recently went to one of those change your life semenars......and I can say that It has changed me...... I cried.. in the arms of a man..... I cried into a chair I didn't jerk it for like 9 days..... and I read I's. and to anyone who hasn't read it Mush just a lot of echi Mush but a very good mush.

Macs sux

2006-05-24T21:50:24Z

nuff said

low self esteem

2006-05-15T08:04:07Z

ohh and I took a test and here are my results

You Have Low Self Esteem 92% of the Time
You're definitely in a low place right now, but you also know deep down that you can get out of your funk.
Take a chance and make a new friend or try a new interest. Shaking things up will give you the self-esteem boost you need!

things are about to get bad/good

2006-05-15T07:55:43Z

I suppose I should start with the small things. ummmm.... Malcom in the Middle just had the series finally. this is something I am just bringing up because the show has been on for a while and while I haven't seen every episode(just most) it was a very good show and I am just showing my respect for a good show being sent off air. *sniff* *sniff*

they finally showed sasuke in the naruto manga and it looks like hell is going to break out. and I just realized that the filler episodes started almost a full 5 months ago.... thats right a full season of filler. and as well it has been more than that since we last saw sasuke.

umm what else... went to the end of E3. they beefed up the security so you couldn't sneak into the actual game room just the lobby...... but i did get to see morgan web and adam sesler.

hmm any thing else..... ohh yeah I told my aunt I am failing and it would be a waste of time for me to continue to go to college and long story short I should be back home in about a week....

I knew I was going to hell

2006-05-15T00:32:04Z

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<img src="<table style="color: black;" align=center border=1 bordercolor=black cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2><tr><td bgcolor="#FFD391" align=center>Your Deadly Sins</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#FFCE93">Lust: 80%</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#FFC995">Sloth: 80%</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#FFC498">Envy: 60%</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#FFBF9A">Wrath: 60%</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#FFB99C">Greed: 40%</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#FFB49E">Pride: 20%</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#FFAFA1">Gluttony: 0%</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#FFAAA3">Chance You'll Go to Hell: 49%</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#FFA5A5">You'll die while in the throws of passion - the best way to go.</td></tr></table><div align="center"><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/howsinfulareyouquiz/">How Sinful Are You?</a></div>" />

why

2006-05-04T11:02:06Z

in case anyone has noticed I havent' been writting on my lj for a while now and that is because my computer broke.........a couple weeks and 50 bucks later it works again......and that 50 was going toward lesbian porn....ugh...........but yeah some crazy shit has occured since my computer broke.......... jerkin it suxord ... yeah I mean I never particularly enjoyed it before but the pornography I OWN is bad...yeah I said it.... I was doing it like once or twice a week..... but then it was fixord and I did it 5 time .... Hellz yeah 5 TIMES IN ONE DAY boyakashaka and I may not be done yet cause i just downloaded a new hentai game and a hentai movie a bout subway molestation (major fetish of mine)

oh and on a side not I think Im going to confront my aunt and come home because this semester has been a total academic flop (I haven't gone to any classes in 3 weeks)

nothing else matters

2006-04-17T10:00:12Z

its 237 am and at 200pm I have a 3 page report due that I havent even started and don't inted to start until maybe 700am. but that doesnt matter. my sex drive has gone of the wall to the point were I wake up craving the soft feel of a womans breast or the warm (and I don't know any other way to put it) nervana-ish feeling of a womans .... area..........but that doesn't matter (mostly because I won't get any for a long time to cum). no no Im here to talk about kingdom hearts II... yeah.. it matters. If you don't have it.... your a dumb ass and need to reprioritize(ive got no life), if you didn't get the last one..... get off, just get off, you have no appreasiation fo the finer things in life and need to jump off a bridge or something. if you haven't beaten the game do so quickly as it ...... AMAZING.... no really the ending is pretty awe inspiring. much like the last game at the end of this game it would seem like for the most part a happy ending where the world is at peace and all the loose ends seem well done........ then comes the secret ending. if your on proud mode just unlock every world (the key holes by the name of where you are in the gummi ship should be lite up) then beat the game. if your on standard mode.... start a new game in proud mode.....itll serouisly take less time. but just like the last secret ending you will have so many questions your ass will eventually explode. no, for rizzle if your balls were what you know of the kingdom hearts world now then it will kick you in the balls till you can no longer procreat and you grow very large quadruple D tits... and if you must know my balls are so much bigger than a normal persons I could survive something of that nature... but I still shed a tear at its beauty....

burnupguy @ 2006-03-29T20:04:00

2006-03-30T04:05:35Z

I gave blood the other day, I wonder if that makes me a good person?

looking back......

2006-03-20T12:21:27Z

its late at night. I'm tired.... but i cant sleep. I have been thinking about doing this for a long time..... Im going to right about my life.... maybe this will explain somethings about me or maybe it will just make me look worse..... but here it goes.

I was born in 1987 in New Orlean, Louisiana. I can't remember much about that time. I've been told that I lived there for a year and after that we moved to Penselvania. We lived there for 4 or 5 years. I can't really remember anything from those six years. Nothing, and the only reason I know this is because of old videos. sometime during those years after my sister was born I came depend on her. She was a natural born leader. For as long as I can remember and sometime before I am told she bossed me around and I did as she said.
when I was maybe 4 or 5 we moved to aruba. Im not really sure why we did. but all my earliest memories are of this place. I can't even remember moving there almost as if we had always lived there. I can remember going to Kindergarder almost perfectly. This was when I met my first real friend. He was the king of the playground. Andre. He was black like me but he was different. He was charismatic and a leader of men (children in this case). I was a loner. a silent warrior. I had gained a rep as someone not to mess with. Since before I can remember I loved the martial arts and as soon as I was able I became part of a martial arts studio. It was one of the only things I could do and practice at without ever getting enough. but im getting of the subject. under normal sercumstanses he and I would never have crossed paths as more than individuals who respected each other. But at the end of the year for his birth day he invited everyone to his house for a party. I remember he was one of the only families that had a house with multiple floors(2) I remember being around all those people and being a little scared. I suppose after that our mothers had spoken and became friends. So after that we were best friends. because of where we lived and the cost, after kindergarden we went to separate schools. This was when I started to flutter my life full of activities. I quite the martial art class I was in for another( judo to tea kwan do) which was better because judo focused more on blocking and flipping your opponent over and required a lot of strenght which I didn't have while tea kwan do required more kicks and such which I was much better at. I also joined the YMCA. The YMCA on the island was fairly small. It had a small 20-30 person cafeteria. a full basketball court and a small playground as well as a study area and theater room ( very small). on mondays and wednesdays after school i would go to the YMCA or Y as it was called. and on tues and thurs I would go to tea kwan do. and on fri and sat I would go over to andre house. Andre had a NES because of his older brother and we always played. always. as in we would do that and go into his back yard and explore. His back yard was maybe 3-4 miles square and full of snakes, cactus, stinkbugs, and all kinds of junk. This was the time when my life was at the most crusial moments. On aruba you were someone only if you could beat someone. not at sports and not at games but if you could beat them till they gave up or broke something (like a bone). this rule applied to us kids as well. Not to say that big kids would come and start trouble with little ones although it did happen sometimes. I was a pretty shy kid any where. I can remember my second week at school some kid in my class challenged me behind the school. I hadn't done anything and suppose he was a bully but I really couldn't tell. I punched him in the stomach, tripped him, climbed on him and wailed in his face. and that was the last time anyone tried to bully me at school. Every so often someone strong would want to fight me for pride or something like that. but I never lost to them. the same happened to me at the Y with the same result. because of this I would get alot of girls. something about chivalry or a silent warrior. around this time I met this girl named Viona. she was a year younger than me. My aunt had introduced use so we could be friend. me, her, and my little sister. and it all worked out fine. Viona was my "childhood love". I remember we would go under my bed and... well you get the picture. this would go on for three years. then I would get jelous and we would break up. Even though we were little me and andre were become some of the stronger kids on the island. out of everyone our age me and him were on top. He was the only one I couldn't ever get a decisive victory over. we would fight all the time then afterward we would argue over who was the stronger and not talk to each other the whole week. but then again we never really talked during the week any way just because we didn't live any where near each other. and we would forgive each other by the week end and start all over again. and that was really my first year in elemetary school.
Things went to hell the year after that. In TKD we got a new instructor. he was a hard ass. and scared me shitless. but he challenged my imature skilles alot and I grew from that. I began noticing there were no black super heroes. this may not seem like a big deal but when I was little that what I wanted to be. and it seemed like in order to be a real super hero you had to be white. this was what really created the none nigger devon but also for a long time i resented by skin and blood which wasn't healthy. Also during this time there was a big black out during the night. I was a small child and I can't remember where my parents were but I became terrified. I couldn't move all I could do was curl up in a ball and cry. After that moment I became terrified of the darkness and of being alone in it. a fear that I still have today. My father had just hired a very busty venezuelan house maid to live and work in the house and help my mother. Hers were the first breast I saw and had a crazy effect on me enough so that that image is permanently imprinted on my mind. My father began working longer days at the plant so i didn't see him except on the week ends and even then he was to tired to do anything exept exercise( this was how he got ride of stress. don't ask me how it works) and sleep. and after that he would go on business trips for weeks so I hardly ever saw him. Any real problem I had that couldn't be solved with money he became useless. I suddenly found myself becoming depressed and having a bad out look on life. oh and my brother was born the year before. I began to feel useless as my little brother was getting the attention for being so cute and my sister for being so smart and such a such a self motivated and adaptive person. she had charisma like my father. my little brothers cuteness would fade but I knew my sister would still be smarter and more charasmatic than me. So I felt like I had nothing special. that was when I began playing video games nonstop. this would destroy any and all of my ability to communicate with people. the Y came under new management. the new "principal" had 2 sons. one who was my age and another who was 3-4 years older than me. The older one was pretty cool but the younger one and me emediatley hated each other. Im not sure were it began but we became enemies. I can remember the moment things became serious. during lunch sometimes I couldn't finish my food. and one of the new rules was if you couldnt finish you stayed for an extra 30 min or until you finished it. we were the last two in the room and weren't being monitered. we exchanged snide remarks and soon began fighting. in the end he kicked me in the stomach and poured soup on me.

its 419 in the morning and I have class at 2pm so I need to go to bed. Ill finish this some other time.

naruto and gay people (not lesbians)

2006-03-19T02:16:48Z

I found out something horribly disturbing today...... all naruto lemons and fanfics are gay...... all of them....... I mean I have never hated gay people so much in my life or found so many people who want to see naruto and sasuke get to gether... I wouldn't really care If I could find some normal naruto lemons but all I get are naruto plowing sasuke or vice versa...... it really pisses me off when I cant find the porn I want

mono

2006-03-16T05:28:03Z

with school and my aunts crazy wake me up at 700 am schedule I havent been able to get enough sleep ( and when ever I try to nap she wont let me. grrrr) so I don't think I'm over my mono....YEAH! I've had it for almost 2 months!!!! I need more sleep and the only way to get it is to get an apartment!( if your wondering the doc told me all i need is sleep to get rid of mono. and that the lump in my neck is limpnodes or something trying to fight the infection or what ever... eargh I need to get better

its official

2006-03-13T06:54:23Z

it is official from the 7th of april to the 16th i am going to the ATL g-unit

but on a crazier note ...... my aunts friends are freakin HOT!!!! jesus christ.... one of them brought her son.... over and he's like 3 so I had to watch him but his mom was smokin oh my GOD and half the time she kept on lookin at me and talking to me......

the other one was like 30 and was like talking about me and touching my arm and junk.... and she gave me the look or what looked like the look a couple of times..... and JESUS CHRIST SOOOOO HOTTTTT?!!!!!

I cannot emphasize this enough JESUS CHRIST SOOOO HOTTTT I just about splooged my pants when the came in the door.....

I need to get laid.....

control

2006-03-12T11:35:50Z

i feel almost like an empty shell.... a nothingness with no shape, no definition of self, or more like a dying definition of self.
I feel as though I must assume some other form while i am here... I think that is why ive always hated acting like a shy silent "cool" type..
it was always like a face I had to put on infront of them.... their "kind" "sensitive" child..... to weak to move forward by himself... to shy to stand up for himself... the hope of the family.... if he's not a success he is no better than his leeching uncle... the family failure.... he cant help it... he just cant get along with others... I cant be like that.... my father the family succes... he worked hard and brought wealth and fortune back to our family.... so I, as his son, have to do the same.... my father the success... tried to buy our love and admiration... tried to use money, not even words, to comfort us from work...... he moved us far from him.... expenses he said.. we left everything we knew... the only things I knew.... thing that mattered.... things that made me who I am.... things that I worked hard to find, to make, to keep........ thrown away for what?......expenses..... I struggled to regain some things.... to find others... maybe something solid.... they could do it easily.... as if they were born with something I was missing.... I couldn't.... I locked myself in a room and attached myself to the only familiar comfort I could.... the only control I really had... the "addiction" they called it... it locked me in the room..... it was evil.... it never left me.... it was all I could control.... so I tapped my buttons and bought more cartridges... and spent my hours...playing.... I found things that mattered... people... but in the end I still had to act like someone else.... when I didn't people hated me..... I lost the real me a long time ago... along with any control... I can't even remember what he was really like.... I wish I did.... I wish I could see the stong me.. the one who walked a mile to the shop just because he wanted to.... the one who did what he really wanted... a stone pillar... a silent warrior.... now I must pretend to be him.... living in two shadows... my own and my fathers..... and everyone wants me to fill my fathers..... the abandaner... the one who can only see riches in gold and love as dollars........ I have no control in this form... none... all i can do is stay silent in there presens and node my head in aggreement to what they say.... what a pathetic situation I am in... living with one.... unable at any time but the latest hours of the darkness to remove my falsities.....

I am sorry if this sounds like mindless bable or just a spoiled child venting without any real problems

whut is everyone doing for spring break?

2006-03-09T05:29:58Z

I was wondering since spring break is comming up what everyone is doing?

this is more a lead up to the fact that I may be comming down for spring break.... maybe....

I miss my hair

2006-03-08T06:40:36Z

I was looking through some fotos and I realize I really miss my big hair X(

rage keeps me up

2006-03-05T12:35:39Z

I've been having trouble sleeping as of late for about 3-4 months now. not that I don't sleep or that im never tired but sometimes in the darkness of the night I become consumed by anger sadness and all around hatred. I can remember having this almost sanity destroying hatred since I've been a child. this is not to say that its always been toward the same thing. whether it came in the form of my sister, my father, white people, black people, and people in general. I sometimes try to work past it but it always arises some time or another but it never interfiered with my sleep or general behavior towards anyone until recently. I'm sure i need some kind of therapy.. I think.... I feel as though the pieces of me that are kind and good the pieces of me that are just and light hearted are all a facade of the true me..... a dam that holds back the sea of hatred that is rising and overflowing past the gate... and should the dam collapse............ I wish I could say something possitive and self comforting maybe even something couragus but I feel like there is no way for me to bring something unregretable from this within me.. I feel as though I have no way to win... I am constantly tempted by my hatred to do what will make me happy..rape, death, violence, revenge, and a total release of my fighting it........ this I would truely regrete and feel as though I would ever be able to atone for any one of those depravities of my true self... so does this feeling of regret make me an OK person? I honestly don't believe it does. I know that I can't do truelly bad thing without my concience stopping me but the fact that I wish I could ride myself of this concience so I could do these horrible acts makes me uneasy. I feel as though I'm going to snap... not today and not tomorrow but eventualy....
as childish as it may sound the most recent center of my anger is Robert...... just how everything went down at the end of the year and how I was discarded like a piece of excrement..... and how they followed him like his dolls..... yes dolls... not really something with there own mind... just a reflection of someone elses will.. his will... there all trash.. garbage... to do with as I please... without care for reprocutions for they aren't real... and thus don't deserve to treat me as someone they are equal to...I am consumed with the will to toy with them.. to bring them pain...... to watch them bleed and swell up in lumps of flesh......to cause them misery and sadness... simply to see if they react like humans or rely on Robert for there reaction...... tainted flesh.....

I really wish I could upload fotos without upgrading( paying)

2006-03-05T11:56:35Z

nuff said in the title

the begining of the end is here

2006-03-05T11:20:57Z

so I was watching TV right and the wierdest commercial came on.......it took me a second to realise what it all meant but after a few minutes it dawned upon me what had happened... God has forsaken all the good people out there by allowing a product so vile and filthy.. so rediculous and completely lacking originality that that could be the only possiblity.

.....Boys gone wild.......

only the source of all evil and his legion of minions could produce something so ..... rediculously evil

I feel filthy from just the commercial

school..... ahhhhhhh and missing home/ps2

2006-03-03T22:20:06Z

wow I really should not have gone to college out here
things are getting pretty heavy and I want to go home
o well.... but seriosly my school life is pretty bad
I havent done any of the assignments and I just bombed a test
uhhh and I miss my Playstation2 >[
Kingdom hearts 2 comes out at the end of the month and I have to find a way to get it
but on a better note I just got a Ps1 for $20 and breath of fire IV
yay no more sleep for me ;)

GIS SAC 2nd GIG

2006-02-26T10:29:16Z

I was watching Ghost in the shell SAC 2nd GIG and something strange happend. one of the main characters died...... he fought someone who looked like him and while he fought her she cut his chest. then at the end one was standing over the dead one and the dead one had a gash on his chest while the other one had nothing on her chest........so he's dead.... arg this is hell if anyone has seen this episode( new came on today)can you confirm this or unconfirm it ? pleezeeeeee?

evangelion so many questions....

2006-02-26T10:23:01Z

ive been watching Eva for the last couple of weeks on adult swim and there are somethings that confuse me horribly and I was wondering if anyone could help me answer them? this isnt my first time seeing eva and ive seen the entire series and the last 2 movies ( or one movie because they were really just two parts of the same story) but there are still questions like....

why was Gendo Ikari trying to do all this? I mean he worked with SEELE but he betrayed them didn't he? and it could have been to save the world but then why was he doing all that stuff after the angels?

in the movie who killed Gendo... was it shinji or his mom?

and who the fuck was Rie originaly? what was up with little rie? didn't she seem happy? and why was the killed? and how did she( the second? rie) acquire a soul?

why was eva unit 00 trying to kill ritsuko? just whos soul is in unit 00?

how the fuck did shinji's mom's soul get into unit 01? and who else piloted unit 01 ( ritsuko said that someone had gotten 400% sync ratio before shinji did)? could it be that that was how his mom got into unit 01 ? but then don't eva's need souls in them to be piloted? then how would she have piloted it first? but then wouldn't that make the actual unit 01 very old? and pilotable by adults?

if every time rie tries to pilot unit01 it kicks her out how come it lets the dummy plug work?

how come gendo is so conserned over Rie when he can just get another? and was Gendo boinking ritsukos mom? if so wouldn't that be gross ewwwww?!

and how come when rie removes adam from Gendo why is he so surprised?

and at the very end what the fuck was that?! no i mean it what the fuck?! who won? did anyone win? what the fuck did shinji choose? did he really have sex with gaint rie? and what the fuck does asuka have to do with any of this? why didn't he kill her? and why did she stroke his face? what the fuck?

pleeze send this along as many as yo u can so I can get some aswers..... pleeze and thank u

, big D Money G funk

in 48hours 8 hours of sleep......

2006-02-23T09:01:42Z

I need to get on crack....
I know crack is bad but my aunt makes me get up at 8am

8AM!!!!!!!!

I need the crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crunk crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack

i also think that if I dont get more sleep I'm going to begin asking random women to foley coley with me .....

no seriosly this has been going through my mind

what would happen if I went around and began asking women (after introducing myself and making maybe 5 mins of small talk() would fool around with me? I mean im not fairly unattractive and I can be very well spoken at times. but would it work? I mean it worked before on someone who knew my rep so what about now that I have a clean slate? I mean this is college. and I wouldn't do this like in the middle of the street or nothing but would it ever work? and I wouldn't just say lets fool around but maybe hide it in the words. hmmmm

If anyone has any ideas to add like ways to slyly ask to fool around or to get women to want to fooley cooley reply pleezz....